My days mumble and jumble together, fast, before I have time to blink or click the shutter button on the camera. Was it really that long ago that I sat down and wrote a blog, or was it yesterday? I can't remember. I feel out of my norm, for no clear reason. I still hit the snooze in the am, have my shower, and drink my coffee while watching the local news.... I still drive to work, clock in, sign on, and plaster a fake smile to my face.... I still come home, shed the shoes, pull my hair up, and play with my pup.... I still do everything as I have, and yet, I feel like everything is out of whack. I feel like I'm spinning uncontrollably, with no clear destination. I feel like time is flying by me too quickly, before I have a chance to really stop and see it. I feel like we're moving too fast. I want to stop sometimes, right in the middle, stop and just take it all in. I want to hold tight to my husband's hand and keep us right here.
I feel like I haven't talked to my mom in ages. Not just the "how are yous", but the real conversations. The ones that leave me feeling full and content. The ones that make my sides hurt from laughing. The ones that make me remember just how lucky I really am to be connected to such a beautiful being. I miss her with a fierce intensity. I'm truly lonely for her. I hate that I can't just hop in my car and drive over to see her. I hate that I have to pack to visit my mom. I hate living so far away.
I'm feeling disconnected.
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I miss mom too.
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