rainy days...

Rainy days make me blue. I only want to curl up and sleep. My need for sunshine is tremendous.


My rainy Saturday was spent shopping at IKEA, where I purchased this adorable candle holder; which now sits on my kitchen table (and my sister was right, I should have gotten 2). I could have spent all day in there. I could have spent a lot more money (I got out of there with only spending $42.00, I'm kicking myself for not getting the other items I wanted). My sister and I played house, shot evil looks at all the preggos, and glared at the woman who told her husband (who looked like he really missed his scrotum) "I said NO." Fun was had by all, but in the back of my mind was a little ringing reminder that she'll be moving to Germany in a few short weeks, and my best friend/partner in crime/favorite shoppin' buddy will be too far away for a Saturday trip to IKEA. After we snacked on glorious cinnamon buns, I left her in Columbia, and drove back to PA in the rain, with Amos Lee singing me home.


I don't know if it's the gloom of the rain, the impending departure of my sister, or the time change, but I'm sad today, and sleepy, and in need of a big bear hug.


On the TTC front, I'm still with out a little lamb of my own. Still have an empty tummy. Still have a longing so intense that it physically hurts. Still walk past the baby section of the store and will myself to walk away. Still feel like the green eyed monster when I see a pregnant woman. Still spend most of my day dreaming of how I'm going to tell the hubs the good news when I get my positive.


My girl friend stopped over today, to drop off some candles I bought & to pick up the little Easter gift I had for her daughter. She pulled me aside and whispered her good news.... she's expecting.
I'm happy for her.
I'm thrilled for her.
I'm so excited for her.
I must repeat these words to myself, multiple times, eventually they'll be true. I told her "congratulations". When she pulled out of my driveway, I wanted to shout at the Lord, at the storks, or at whatever higher power is in control of baby-making... I've been forgotten.